Every Day.

I wake up in my head,
and I hear you breathe.
I hear your shaking body as you laugh.

It hurts to wake up,
it just breaks me down into a million pieces.
Inches at a time.

I miss you so dearly.
Your voice. Your heart. Your mind.
Even though you are at peace.

Stay awake,
in my head.
Let your soul walk around and talk to me.

Tears don't even question my love for you.
My hands wet with promises I didn't keep.
I'm so sorry.

I want you back in my childhood.
With my barbies, and my computer games.
With your beautifully wrinkled hands.

I want to cuddle closely to your frail body again,
and hold your desperate hand.
I want to feel that warmth.

I can't say it loud enough or deep enough.
I miss you.
I never wanted to see you in so much pain.

No one really understands why I cry.
But you do.
You know that you are still in my heart.

Every day. Every moment. Every memory. Every word.
I know that Heaven exists.
And you wait for me with your wings and halo...

that are now finally visible.