Every Day.

I wake up in my head,
and I hear you breathe.
I hear your shaking body as you laugh.

It hurts to wake up,
it just breaks me down into a million pieces.
Inches at a time.

I miss you so dearly.
Your voice. Your heart. Your mind.
Even though you are at peace.

Stay awake,
in my head.
Let your soul walk around and talk to me.

Tears don't even question my love for you.
My hands wet with promises I didn't keep.
I'm so sorry.

I want you back in my childhood.
With my barbies, and my computer games.
With your beautifully wrinkled hands.

I want to cuddle closely to your frail body again,
and hold your desperate hand.
I want to feel that warmth.

I can't say it loud enough or deep enough.
I miss you.
I never wanted to see you in so much pain.

No one really understands why I cry.
But you do.
You know that you are still in my heart.

Every day. Every moment. Every memory. Every word.
I know that Heaven exists.
And you wait for me with your wings and halo...

that are now finally visible.

Because You Love Me.

I just want someone to take care of me. 
So much to ask. 
Yet, I want it.

I want him to come home to a cooked meal.
We eat as we stare at each other from across the dinner table. 
He asks me how work was, I reply.


Then he picks up our plates,
places them in the sink. 
Grabs my hand and pulls me to him. 

We dance and kiss, 
as I smile... between our lips.
The happiness taking me under. 

I want someone who would go crazy without me. 
I want a beautifully, terrible romance. 
With fights, and tears, and so much love. 

It's all I want, here.
I want to fall asleep, naked in his arms every night.
With the window open.

I want someone to walk up and put their arms around me, 
as I wipe off the dinner table.
Speechless.

I want to try new and weird things. 
I want to be so in love that it hurts. 
I want. I want. I want.

I need to have him here.
I need him to help me grow up, 
and be different.

I need to have a mutual understanding, 
that we are unbreakable.
That we are best friends.

I need us to be different.
But so much alike.
So perfect together.

I want to see you smile just because I entered the room.
Because you want to spend the rest of your life with me.
Because you love me.