Normal

I refuse to feel sorry for myself.
My heart,
my bruises,
they don't happen to me unless I let them.
I can't relive everything I feel,
but I do anyway.

I'll pull that switch,
and pull it deep inside my heart.
I'll feel again,
I'll love again.
I'll breathe again,
I'll want again.
Everything I have is not everything that I want.

I shot myself,
there's blood on the wall.
I looked at myself in the mirror
and I know what's right and what's wrong.
I can't let you go until I hear that song.

My skirt flies beneath me,
as I fall farther and farther.
You've still got me,
but I don't know who that is anymore.
I try, and I try
but nothing is there anymore.
I'm up, up, up in the air
but I'm so far down.

Just call it life.
Just believe in everything,
and forgive yourself.
You're nothing without me,
and I'm nothing at all.
So do it for love.
I suspect that you're respected
by everyone else.

You can toss that book out the window,
because I don't do what I'm told.
I've relived everything about that day,
those days.
When my world fell apart,
and everything changed.
I just want everything to go back to
the days when we woke up and ran out to the tree.
I just want things to be normal.

Needless Beating

Oh, how am I supposed to believe in destiny...When it's faining right in front of me.
This purpose of pure love is fake fur.
I believe in something, but I'm not sure at all what this is.
My rag of bags of bones is tearing and it's falling in front of me.
I'll just step aside and let it go,
because I don't know what love is.
I just sound cruel.
But I do as I'm told.

Long ago,
I dreamt of breaking free and stepping
into the pond, never knowing if I'll surface again.
But who minds?
When the last words you'll ever hear are,
"Hold on."
Things are better this way;
Never breaking free from these chains,
and standing still here.
Hold on tonight.
Tomorrow can only bring nothing short of joy,
I think things are better this way.
Be there when I get back.

Que my exit,
I'm through with breaking into pieces.
I'm only going to fall in love.
Stifle these gags.
Don't ever say I tried to make you stay.
I left the door open at night,
waiting for evil to leave,
but taking a chance that it will come back for me.
I'll be off now, to find another way.
After all this time,
you owe me this....
You owe me your love,
your trust,
your purpose in where you're going.

After all this time...
you owe me everything.

All These Years

Now is the time that we let things go.
The things we've done since Freshman year blow farther and farther away.
We can't help ourselves, because we know that we've grown up.
Our people have moved away and we can't get them back.
But now is really the time to move on.
We never fell in love in the first place,
but we were young and we knew everything.
Our guilt from what we've done will suffocate us.
We can't be held responsible for falling in love.
Our sins pull us back to where we belong,
since we were so young, the pain will keep us here.
But now we know that it's time to let go.
Can't we give up this plan that we've deemed so important?
We were all just Freshmen.
I died for my sins, but I never learned any different.
Don't hold me responsible for this,
I only knew everything when I was this young.
Keep me close to you when you leave.
These years won't just pass me by,
all these memories we've built will not leave me now.
We're all moving too fast, and I want time to pause.
Just pause.
Hold my clock,
I'll take you home and we can talk
about all these years
that slipped through our fingers.
All these years.

Dragon

Kiss me.
I kiss you back.
It's not right in front of me,
but I see it there.

The passion,
the blow of fire beneath our wings.
Who could have known we'd be here right now?
I loved you first.
But I won't love you last.

Drown me in alcohol.
Dull the pain of letting you run away.
I should have called for you.
I should have let you be with me.
But my fire burned out.

My bible rests in my hand taking the place of yours.
I feel safer, now.
I feel more ready to be me than any other person.
I feel like stepping out and breathing.

That fire started to burn too hot.
That fire started to melt me down,
and I am much to strong to give in to you.
I won't let my heart run away.
And I won't let you take it with you.

I should have loved you first,
 but I never loved you at all.
The dragon breathes fire,
but never under its wings.
For it reserves the strength to fly.

If you take me home,
I'd run away.
I'd fly home,
because you're not mine,
and I am not yours.

I will breathe on my own from now on.
I am the wings,
and I will fly.
Because I reserve the strength.
I will reserve my heart.

I never loved you at all.

What it is to be Free.

I thought maybe if I was quiet enough, I could sneak into the woods; If I could stop myself from breaking the silence, then I could escape. The brush of the wind was enticing. I could feel myself growing more and more apart of the forest as I crept towards it. I peered over my shoulder and time stopped as I watched from right- to left. I turned around and walked on further. Suddenly, I felt free. I touched the bark on the large pine and felt a small ant crawl over my hand, peacefully. It was incredibly overwhelming all at once. The sun shinning in on my face, the quiet chirping of the birds overhead, and the brush of the wind on my neck. It didn't matter anymore what I did, or where I went as long as I was at peace with myself.
I turned around and came face-to-face with him; It wasn't scary, or threatening. But the look in his blue eyes was that of disappointment, and anger.
"What's the matter with you?" He asked with a crack in his voice.
"I just want to leave." I said simply.
"People don't just get to leave. We make our home and bring our bearings, but we can't leave everything behind. If I were to tell you that you could go, it would be a lie. You see, you have more need to be here, than I do for wanting you here. We are human."

Give Way.

This is the part where I give up.
I sing out loud,
but it's too much.
I keep it inside,
and it's not enough.

I'm sorry I'm not perfect.
I'm sorry that I left.
You say you need time to reflect.
But I can't see what's left?

Who am I to believe in anything at all.
Everything I build,
comes crashing to a fall.

I'm not going to give up hope,
but I will give up trying.
I know now it's not enough.
I might as well be lying.

But who am I to tell you I'm in love?
With someone I hate.
I've lived away for so long,
Its only ice I taste.

So give way.
Give me my way.
Because things don't change,
just because you want them to.

I'm sorry.
The world doesn't revolve around you.

I found out today.

I found out today,
that I will be okay.

Everything that's happened,
is going to turn out okay.

I'm not going to crawl into my circle,
and hide myself there.

I'm not going to scratch my skin,
and turn out bare.

I found out today,
that I'm not going to cry anymore.

I'm not going to spend my nights,
curling up on the floor.

For I've found a light,
at the end of my dark tunnel.

It may sound cleche....
but I really don't like this tunnel.

I found out today,
that I'm going to be okay.

I guess it's better than nothing.
Like finding out tomorrow.

Or the day after that.
Now I have two more days...

To get my life back on track.